Josh wrote this during a time in his life when he was having serious panic attacks.  Out of desperation He cried out to God through song: “Father hold on to me: you’re all I’ve got.”  His state of desperate dependence resonates with me lately.

I’m not going through severe panic attacks but I can relate.  Some days I feel as if I’m at the end of myself.  I’m either knee deep in discipline and diapers desperate for God’s grace for my kids or I’m crying out to God to lessen the pain so that I can breathe and find a position that is comfortable.  Some days I’m desperate for God to free me from the fear that’s threatening to quench His Spirit and causing me to doubt Him.

Either way, lately I find myself in this place of desperate dependence: if God doesn’t show up right now in this moment, I don’t know what I will do.

The interesting thing about all of this is that God designed us to be dependent creatures – to depend on the Almighty God for EVERYTHING.  Yet somehow our culture and society (even in the Christian circle) has been telling us that we need to take responsibility for the things that God has given us and we need to be able to do things on our own.

But the more I study God and His word and meditate on His truth I am realizing that our culture is not telling us the truth.  God made us in His image and we were designed to be totally dependent on Him.

The Bible likens us to sheep often:

Psalm 100:3

” Know that the LORD is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.”

These last few weeks I have been drawn to one of my favorite Gracestoration cards: Intro to Shepherding.  It’s through this card, that I have learned more about my Good Shepherd and more about my original design.

Like in previous posts, I am not going to share all that there is to share about this card.  If you want to study it more, click here.  (Click on the photo above to see it larger.)

This card looks at two different shepherding styles: Shepherding and Sheep Herding.  The Shepherding style reflected on the left side of the card represents the Ancient Eastern style of Shepherding and closely resembles the shepherding described in the Bible when Jesus refers to himself as the Good Shepherd.  On the right side of the card, we see the more modern Western style of shepherding also called Sheep Herding.

If you look at the right side of the card you see that the shepherd is behind the sheep and high up on his horse barking orders at the sheep.  Notice that the sheep are all going in different directions with their heads down.  One is even flailing on his back.  The shepherd appears to have little to no regard for his sheep.

Now on the left side of the card we see that the shepherd is walking ahead of the sheep.  The sheep are all walking in the same direction with their heads up and are willingly following him.  The shepherd is even carrying one of the lambs who is likely injured indicating that he has a close relationship with his sheep.  In John 10:4 Jesus describes the relationship between a shepherd and his sheep:

John 10:4

“When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice.  but they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.”

Sheep are very dependent creatures.  They cannot survive without a shepherd to care for them.  Phillip Keller was an actual shepherd in East Africa and he wrote a book called “A Shepherd’s Look at Psalm 23.”  In it he states that sheep will only sleep if they have 4 needs met:

1. Free of all fear  
Sheep have a tendency to be very fearful mainly due to the  fact that they cannot defend themselves.
Their shepherd is their only defense.

2. Free of tension within the flock
There can be a lot of tension in a flock due to a fight for position.
Just the presence of the shepherd can calm the sheep and change their behavior towards each other.

3. Free of pests (bugs, etc.)
Only the shepherd can protect the sheep from pests and he has to constantly monitor the sheep and look at each one closely.

4. Free of hunger
The shepherd has to ensure that there are green pastures which doesn’t come easily in the arid and dry climates.
The shepherd has to know how to work the land in order to produce green pastures.

Note that the shepherd is the only one that gives the sheep freedom from the things that prevent them from resting.

The sheep depend on the shepherd for EVERYTHING which brings us to the Bottom line of this card (as stated on the front of the card):

The condition of the sheep reflects the care of the shepherd.

So if we are the sheep and Christ is our Good Shepherd (John 10:11), the condition of our hearts should reflect the care of our Good Shepherd.

If I’m being honest, when I look at the condition of my heart, I see things like worry, fear, anxiety, discouragement.  If Christ is living inside me and I am filled with His Spirit, then why am I living as if I am being sheep herded?

God in His grace, revealed something to me through a familiar Scripture I have read countless times before:

1 John 4:18

“There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears in not made perfect in love.”

So when I am afraid – am I ultimately fearing punishment or torment?

Perhaps the root of all of my fear is that I ultimately fear that I will be punished or suffer torment in some way.

I am not seeing God as my Good Shepherd.  Instead I’m seeing Him as a sheep herder and I am living my life in fear that I will somehow disappoint Him or that I will be punished in some way.

I’ve never thought of fear in that context.  I always thought the root of my fear stemmed from the fact that I put man in a place where only God should be.  And while I think I definitely still struggle with the fear of man, I think my fear also stems from the fact that I am not seeing God as He really is.

The only way sheep can be free of fear is when they are in the presence of their shepherd. They are completely dependent on their shepherd and have total confidence that he will protect, guide, and care for them.

So as I start to depend on my Good Shepherd, God in His infinite grace will reveal His character to me and my heart will find freedom from fear just by being in His presence.

Ann Voskamp writes in her book One Thousand Gifts:

“All fear is the notion that God’s love ends.” (pg. 160)

God’ s love is not finite .

Romans 8:38

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our LORD.”

Like sheep I think we can only truly rest when we are free of all fear, free of tension within our flock, free of pests, and free of hunger.  We can experience this freedom when we commune with our Good Shepherd and enjoy time in His presence.

Psalm 16:11

“You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”

As we spend more time in His presence, it is here where we can learn His voice.  As we know His voice, we can follow Him and depend on Him for EVERYTHING.  We can trust that He is our Good Shepherd. and that He is protecting, guiding, and caring for us unconditionally.

This desperate dependence allows our hearts to find REST along the journey of life.