Encouragement, Infertility

Finding your worth as you wait

When my husband and I moved to the Midwest, we bought a large colonial. It was white with red trim and red brick. At over 2,600 square feet, it was too much house for just us, but we envisioned filling it with little ones.

Two months later, however, my mom passed away from pancreatic cancer. I sank into a fog of grief and depression, but I was determined to achieve our dream of having a family of our own. After three years of trying and four failed fertility treatments, I realized that this was one goal I could not achieve on my own. Instead of moving forward with our lives, it felt like we were walking into a brick wall.

I had achieved everything else in my life up to this point. And until my mom died, when I was 27, my life had gone according to my plan. I found myself in a holding pattern unsure how to proceed.

Maybe you find yourself in a similar situation. You have been able to accomplish everything you set your mind to, until now. Maybe you, too, are waiting to start a family, or are waiting to buy a house, waiting to step into that perfect career, waiting for physical healing for yourself or someone you know, or waiting for that perfect mate.

As a culture, we are not used to waiting. Everything is instant and if it’s not, we complain. But God often operates opposite of our culture. Sometimes, He will usher us into a season of waiting on purpose. It is then up to us how we respond to this difficult season. We can either receive His plan and rest in it, or we can fight it and continue to try to find a way out of the waiting.

Over the next few weeks, I want to come alongside you and encourage you as you wait. I want to highlight some things God may be saying to you as you wait. There is much to learn as we wait; we just need to have our eyes open to see it.

Looking back at the time when we were waiting to have a family of our own, I can see I had allowed my view of my worth decrease as my ability to achieve decreased. I knew I was a child of God, but I think I had defined my worth by my achievements and successes. And once I could no longer achieve my dreams, I felt as if my worth died along with my dreams.

I now see all the reasons that God allowed us to not conceive. One of which was so that I would depend on Him for everything, including my worth. Over the past several years, God has allowed circumstances to strip me of my ability to achieve as I once had. I have had to learn who I am in Him apart from my achievements. Who does God say that I am in His sight, even if I accomplish nothing else on this side of heaven?

Galatians 3:26-29

“For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus. And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes. There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus. And now that you belong to Christ, you are the true children of Abraham. You are his heirs, and God’s promise to Abraham belongs to you.”

If we look to Scripture for our identity, we see that we are children of God. Scripture does not say that our worth is based on our achievements. It’s quite the opposite. Our worth is found in our adoption which we did not earn or deserve.

A few years back I heard Beth Moore share an Identity Declaration that has stuck with me years later.

I am a woman of God
Redeemed by Jesus Christ
Loved, pursued, and chosen
Equipped with words of life
Clothed in strength and dignity
Commissioned here and now
Gifted by the Spirit
Forgiven and unbound

Let those words soak into your soul today. Replace Satan’s lies with God’s truth that you are a redeemed woman of God.

God does not make any mistakes. He knows why you are in the situation you find yourself in right now. Look to this season of waiting as an opportunity to examine your heart and to find your worth in Him alone, not in your achievements.

I encourage you to accept what God has allowed to touch your life today. Entrust it back to Him. Ask Him how He wants to use you in the middle of the waiting. Stop looking to the future to find your worth. It’s in the waiting where we can find our true worth in Christ.

 

 

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